Today, I told you exactly what I think of you. It was liberating and fierce. I was brave. You walked away unscathed as always, but the power I took back flooded me. Part of me feels static and is still running on adrenaline, the other part of me is conflicted because I care about you so deeply. When you hurt, I hurt-because I'm soft. I've always been that way. I ache because I never want to hurt you...no-matter how much you've hurt me. But I'm not going to apologize. I'm not going to take back what I did. I'm conflicted about it...but I'm not sorry. I realize we are called to a holier way of living and we are supposed to approach things as Christ would approach them...but today I got my gut full. I got my gut full of no responses, broken promises, unfaithfulness, your constant need for female attention, hearing about how you're already "talking" to other girls...I got sick of it. I think it's interesting who you left chapel with. I think it's interesting the night you came into chapel with her. Body language speaks volumes. And you...though so complex are more transparent than you seem. I was just a number. I was just Jade...always expendable. Jade.

In the garden, you kissed my feet once.

What happened to you?