Today,

I finally got my things back from you

In my mailbox.

Even the gift my mother gave you.

I think that's interesting.

But more interesting was the way I felt.

My breath caught in my chest,

When I saw an all too familiar envelope

With your hand-writing on it.

But when I opened it and pulled out

What should have

Hurt me...

It didn't.

I slipped my ring on my finger...

I put the widow's mite

In my pocket

And sighed.

I didn't miss you.

I wasn't sad.

Not even a little.

I felt wrong for not feeling sad...

I tried to be sad...

I even walked outside and sat down for a moment

To conjure up something sentimental

But there was nothing.

No...

I think I'm

I think I'm...

I think I'm

Finally...

Out of love with you.

I still feel sick

When I see you-

But I think that's just the habitual

Anxiety I build up in my own stomach

In preparation for the times

I know I have to see you.

Other than that...

I don't feel want.

I have no want for you.

None.

It's all gone...

I think after the mean-ness,

And much analysis of the mean-ness...

It was clear to me,

That you weren't going to discuss anything with me

You weren't going to give me closure.

I started working on closure for myself awhile back,

And I'm not saying I fully have it...

But I am saying I must be close...

I don't know what changed

Or when it

Changed...

But somewhere in between seeing

Her get into your car

On Sunday

And today when I opened my mailbox

I stopped loving you.

I'm not in love with you.

I don't even care for you that much.

You're like a stranger to me...

In the still quiet moments,

I am even already starting to forget what your face looks like...

It's just a figure...

With no features...

You're like a vacant hole.

You've been a stranger for far longer

Than our time apart...

And perhaps I never really knew you.

I don't think I did.

I don't love you.

Not an "I don't think..."

I redact that...

It's an absolute.

Thomas Howard...I do not love you anymore.

Not even a little bit. No feelings...there are no feelings.

None. Not bad ones, not good ones...there is nothing.

I feel nothing towards you.

And in response to my own question...

"Do you think we could ever be together again?"

The answer is no.

I never want to be with you again

(Never-mind your feelings about me)...

I don't want you anymore.

I don't love you anymore.

Your character bled through

And because of that...

I wonder if I ever really

Had the opportunity to love you at all.

Maybe,

Maybe not.

You've always been too much of a coward

To tell me

That you don't love me anymore.

Well...

I don't have any reservations in telling you-

I don't love you either.

I don't love you.

I don't love you

I don't love you.

I absolutely DO NOT love you.

And I never will again.

It's evident that you stink at forever promises...

So when you said you'd never want me again, I shook it off in disbelief...

But don't worry...

I promise you,

Thomas...

I'll be the one to make sure

We spend it apart.